Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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