I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
