Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
