thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
