): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
