first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
