We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize