We won't sleep together?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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