you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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