Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
