she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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