I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
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Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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