She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
