are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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