I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
