You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
