yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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