Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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