Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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