i dont even know how to be here
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
