found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
