it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize