On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
