I'm so fucking centered right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
