I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
