Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wanna go halves on a baby?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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