Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
