sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
