So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize