Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
