i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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