You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
