Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
