if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
