Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
