I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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