I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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