i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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