I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
