i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Can I color on your dick again?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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