i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
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SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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