Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
