You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have fence marks all over my body
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
