umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
