Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
