the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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