so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
