you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we should paint friendship bongs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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