Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm way too hungover for life right now
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
