you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
