I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
