i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
