Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
