This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
