i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
