3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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