Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
