I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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