Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
