I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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