I hate your face
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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